Below is the written explanation of the artist’s Sustained Investigation. To view the full images and details of each piece, click/tap on the thumbnail.
1. The question which guided my sustained investigation was simple: What does a panic attack look like? Not in the literal sense, but in the internal sense.
2. Having firsthand experience, I know panic attacks begin with a loud sensory overload. This was the prompt for 1, with bright colors and clutter. However, I begin to dissociate, leading to the muted colors of 2. I decided here to draw comic panels, to better show the transitions between scenes. Dissociation concerns those around me, my “home” suddenly becomes a trap and consumes me in guilt. Yet, it is strangely comforting. To show the duality of this I used soft watercolors and warm colors in 4, using the roach to represent the uncanny feeling. In image 5, the roach is obliterated, and we return to harsh colors and overwhelming emotion. 6 and 7 show the strangely pleasant nature of overload as I attempt to deny the negative consequences. The soft colors and candy-like background allow me to create a greater contrast between denial and return to reality in 8, where I feel as though I’ve died. However, the attacks always end. I am always “reborn,” seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. 9 and 10 allow for this catharsis.